The sky is blue the sky is white. But from time to time the sky can be black. Whichever the colour should be is the one that defines our lives and space and eternities. It has been awhile since Ive had the urge or want to sit down and write. So many things have come and gone since the last. Whether it has been a thought or whether it has been a blog a diary a story we all have to tell., the importance does not matter. Our lives are defined by our past our present and the outcome reflects our futures. In life we have many choices we can make. We can choose to take the road with the straightest path or like most we take the road with the curves bumps and detours. Ive always taken the second. Left choice to the wind and seen where it would take me. Roads are only as good as we make them. Using good quality material and skill to make them or using substandard material and shady labour.
My road has been winding and rough at the best of times. Ive made many choices that were not always the smartest but Ive always fixed that which I have created. Its my belief that that we only grow by our experiences and that we can do nothing but grow from them. I have been there and done that. But as we all grow older and maturer we seek out the things in life that makes us stronger, happy and wiser. I am on that journey now. My career goals have not changed but have been temporarily put on hold. Realizing that it was my time now to make my mark and find out where I fit in this world. I pulled up my roots and stakes and have gone on a wild journey of discovery. Some might say running from things others would say running toward others. Ive chosen to discover the country in which I was born. Canada. A big vast country with plenty of area untamed and known.
After a less then disspointing breakup , A side trip to a even bigger journey , has begun. It was not to the final moments that a friend I had planned this trip with decided to join me for part of the trip. We left our home city to go to a city totally foreign and unknown to both. A culture shock is an understantement. Armed with our suitcases and phones we began a 9 day trip together in the North West Territories. For thos not famaliar with this place its 250 miles south of the Arctic Circle.Mostly barren land and Mostly Aboriginals peoples, it was a perfect beginning to the trip. A time to wind down from the city and fast paced life to that which we have all become accustomed to. With no outside communication but our Blackberrys,we seen the side of life I never knew existed. The customs of our northern relatives has been exactly what ive been looking for , for so long. Peace tranqulity and understanding. This time together let my friend and myself find out if there was to be a furture for ourselves.
Waking every morning to a beautiful sunrise is waht life is all about. An angelic start and beginning to our days. Have you ever looked at someone for ever and not said a thing. The messages being conveyed through their eyes and faces. As one looks longer at the face I discovered that the question I had been asking was always there for me to see. To stop loking past things but directly into them , finally told me that no matter what i did and how hard I tried to make things right and work, the face told me different. Not a look of hatred or fear but a look saying that as in all friendships we grow and move on. The relationship that begun was a risk we both took after being friends for 6 years before. Falling in love complicated things and changed all the dynamics. I now can say that it was neithers fault for the falling away from each other. We both knew deep down that the thing which we had created was the same thing that we both tore apart.
As the week had passed and the next leg of the journey began It was time for the other to depart and return to their home. The final seconds together in Whitehorse is that conversation and expressions that say its been a good ride but its time to move on. As i said my goodbyes A tear did arrise. Nothing has been closed and whatever shall happen , shall happen. This jouney has taught me to say what i mean and mean what I say. When oneselves makes decisions for themselves its much easier then making those same decisions when others are involved.
THE THINGS IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR HAVE BEEN IN FRONT OF ME ALL THE TIME...... It finally occured to me the above. Friends and family are the uptmost importance to us all. A friend said that the most important thing in his life is his family. He values the institution and I only wish that I had the same that he does. Things have occured that its my friends that I hold the highest in importance. Friends of many types make me a well rounded soul. I do not make judgement on others to the lives that which they lead. Its up to each of us to pull from everyone things that we desire. Are we going though life looking for friendship. love of others or Love of our selves. Ive never placed names into situations for I so respect others privacies. Another friend is stuck between the past and the future not sure what the present holds for themsleves. I also am in this situation. I shall take what time is needed to find what Im looking for. We can not put a time limit of this for if we do we end up no further then when we started.
Spring is time for renewal and hope for a better year ahead. Yukon is so different then the North West Territory. A step forward in time. As each part of the journey happens , its one step closer to that which I seek and shall find.. I just watched this movie. If you get a chance watchit. It answered many questions for me....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucket_list
More to come......
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment